Many people are familiar with poke; it is a mixture of raw fish and other things like soy sauce, onions, seaweed, nuts, etc. There are many different variations of the dish that are inspired by similar mixtures that Hawaiian’s did.  Poke is a word in Hawaii that means to slice or cut.  It is believed that the dish got its name when Captain Cook came to visit.  It is yummy and something fairly easy to make.

First toast some sesame seeds.  Next cut fish in to cubes.  It is raw so you want your fish to be sushi grade, however it will be marinated in soy sauce, so it isn’t necessary to be the best sushi grade you can find.


Then add in soy sauce, garlic, ginger, salt, green onions, maui onions,and  sesame seed oil.  Then add the toasted sesame seeds.


Mix it all together.


Marinate over night.  Thats all there is to do for this yummy dish!

Now that the poke is done I want to tell you where things are with Shane and I.  What does that have to do with poke?  Absolutely nothing, however it is what is on my mind.  After my great date with Shane I start to panic and face the fear of love or death.  I always had three things in my life that I would ideally like all to be perfectly balanced but aren’t, my work, social life, and love life. Usually one is suffering while the other two are fine.  Here is where the unrational fear comes in: I have a job that I am really loving, my social life can’t be better, and now I have met someone I really like.  All three things can’t be great at once, right?  Then it all dawns on me that I never had to consider health.  Sure I’ve had a flu that makes you miserable, and had one recent scare of my appendix erupting but it was just fibroids.  This is cancer, it’s a disease that can kill me!  If I pick to go full bore with Shane will I die? Is that how I get these three things to balance?  To be sick?

I realize it isn’t rational, but I’m not feeling very rational.  Anyway I realize now that this is probably why Shane and I got in a fight and ended things.  We have only been dating for a few weeks, but a lot has happened to me and my feelings for him are all mixed up with this cancer thing.

It started with a cute text from him telling me how much he liked me, which shouldn’t lead to a fight, but I felt panic and pushed and I am still trying to get a grip on my feelings. I tell him to stop and that it all feels a bit overwhelming. The reality is I can’t reciprocate his feelings cause I’m not sure what I am going to do yet. His response was to call me. This of course makes me feel more pushed and I am now feeling like a trapped animal. I try to get him to call me another day, so I can calm things down, but he won’t. It doesn’t make any sense to him and he wants to settle things now. I feel really trapped and just lose it and yell at him and hang up. He calls me back pissed and now we are both bitching at each other and agree that this “relationship” isn’t going to work.

Yup it is a bizarre end to what could have been a beautiful relationship. Maybe this isn’t the best time to date and start a new relationship. I’m bummed and a bit frustrated with the situation. Maybe this has nothing to do with cancer and I am just scared of commitment. I don’t know, this just sucks and having some poke sounds pretty good right now. It is simple and less complicated than I am.


Shoyu Poke
  • 2 lb. fresh ahi steaks, cut into cubed, bite-sized pieces
  • 1/2 cup soy sauce
  • 1/2 cup chopped green onions
  • 1/2  cup chopped Maui onion
  • 4 tsp. sesame oil
  • 2 tsp. grated fresh ginger
  • 1/2 tsp. chilli pepper flakes
  • 1/4 teaspoon sea salt
  • 4 tsp. toasted sesame seeds
  1. In a large bowl, combine all the ingredients, and mix lightly.
  2. Cover and refrigerate overnight before serving.

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